Blatantly.
Is the only word I can come up with.
Take because I am willing to give. Give back nothing?
Blatantly.
My care, and trust for you I fear was misplaced.
Get rid of me, fine.
Never have I ever experienced such a blatant act of selfishness.
No wonder you I find most interesting.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Wait I'm already drinking?
An early afternoon conversation with the crazy person in my head...
It's one nineteen in the afternoon on a Monday. I've been up since eight AM and I couldn't find a reason not to add some tequila in my afternoon coffee.
I recently got word that my promotion to E-5 is in it's final stages. I won't be drilling with my friends (family at this point) anymore, and it's a hard pill to swallow. This promotion is an opportunity for a new adventure. But, like anything new in one's life, I'm nervous as all hell about it.
This year I turned 27, and with it came the odd reality that I've not really done much with my life. I watch countless videos of YouTubers and have fascinating conversations with people younger than me, and older, that have lived far more interesting lives. That have come closer to death or near debilitating injury, and have bounced back with more fire to live than any one person that lives a sheltered life.
These people brought about the realization that one day I'm going to be a pile of bones or ash.
But, instead of fearing my inevitable demise, I've come to accept it. I don't find myself worrying about leaving a legacy for future generations to marvel at. I don't suffer the pangs of depression that some would feel with this realization. But, I also don't feel content about letting my future be so bleak.
To that end I look upon what I can leave behind for those that are going to be replacing me one day. What can I teach them so that they too can experience what I feel now?
It's one nineteen in the afternoon on a Monday. I've been up since eight AM and I couldn't find a reason not to add some tequila in my afternoon coffee.
I recently got word that my promotion to E-5 is in it's final stages. I won't be drilling with my friends (family at this point) anymore, and it's a hard pill to swallow. This promotion is an opportunity for a new adventure. But, like anything new in one's life, I'm nervous as all hell about it.
This year I turned 27, and with it came the odd reality that I've not really done much with my life. I watch countless videos of YouTubers and have fascinating conversations with people younger than me, and older, that have lived far more interesting lives. That have come closer to death or near debilitating injury, and have bounced back with more fire to live than any one person that lives a sheltered life.
These people brought about the realization that one day I'm going to be a pile of bones or ash.
But, instead of fearing my inevitable demise, I've come to accept it. I don't find myself worrying about leaving a legacy for future generations to marvel at. I don't suffer the pangs of depression that some would feel with this realization. But, I also don't feel content about letting my future be so bleak.
To that end I look upon what I can leave behind for those that are going to be replacing me one day. What can I teach them so that they too can experience what I feel now?
Monday, January 14, 2013
Mild Delusions
Swirling in a cloud of hormones and chemicals.
One finds themselves engrossed with what they're writing, thinking, reading, watching.
The smell of an empty coffee cup is an alluring mix of dark chocolate and caramel notes, bringing with it a flood of imagined memories.
A child like curiosity takes hold. The child chemist wants to mix water and sugar over medium low heat. The amateur candy maker wants to perfect his technique.
A child like curiosity takes hold. The child chemist wants to mix water and sugar over medium low heat. The amateur candy maker wants to perfect his technique.
Both want the same thing.
Comfort.
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